Remember when Nike proudly declared, "chicks dig the long ball"? Well, nearly three decades later, baseball has taken that wisdom to heart—and apparently, so has your baseball card collection.
Welcome to the era of the "torpedo" bat. Fresh off the bat rack and into baseball infamy, these new sticks made headlines when the New York Yankees launched a ridiculous 15 home runs in their opening series, including nine in a single 20-9 thrashing of the Milwaukee Brewers. Pitchers everywhere, look away now.
The cleverly named "torpedo" bat isn't your grandpa's Louisville Slugger. Each bat barrel is custom-shaped for individual hitters, and clearly, it works—at least if you're not the poor pitcher on the receiving end.
For baseball card enthusiasts, this latest trend means one thing: hitters are your new best friends.
Just days into the season, Yankees slugger Aaron Judge’s cards are already rocketing in value, as collectors flock to hitters and steer clear of pitchers like they're selling VHS tapes. Ironically, Judge himself doesn't even use the torpedo bat, but when the team’s smashing records, collectors aren’t splitting hairs.
Despite recent buzz around pitchers like Paul Skenes, last year's NL Rookie of the Year, the torpedo bat craze might just sink their card values quicker than a Mariano Rivera cutter. Even rising stars like Jackson Jobe from the Tigers and Roki Sasaki of the Dodgers could see their cards take a hit if the league doesn't step in.
Then there's Shohei Ohtani—MLB’s resident superhero. Sure, he can pitch, but with torpedo bats sending baseballs into orbit, he might just opt to stay safely in the batter's box this season. And honestly, Dodgers fans and card collectors probably won't complain one bit.
In short, pitchers, you've been warned. Card collectors, keep your eyes—and your wallets—on those power hitters.

